


Daffodils

by snowicat



Category: X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Forgive Me, Hanahaki Disease, M/M, Not Beta Read, idk if this is heavy angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:15:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22860847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowicat/pseuds/snowicat
Summary: Seungwoo found himself laughing when Seungyoun stumbled upon the famous Japanese folklore Hanahaki disease and started talking about it.
Relationships: Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun & Han Seungwoo, Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun/Han Seungwoo
Comments: 6
Kudos: 28





	Daffodils

Seungwoo snorted when he first heard of the disease. _Hanahaki Disease._ A very rare case in which a person coughs up petals when they suffer from an unreciprocated love. Some people said a flower would grow inside the victim until his body gives up on him and he eventually dies.

It was stupid. Purely fictional if you’d ask Seungwoo. How would a flower bloom inside a person’s stomach? Did they accidentally eat a seed? Won’t the chemicals inside their body dissolve it? If not, there’s a toilet bowl for a reason.

People also said, one out of billion people suffer from such disease, the only cure was to remove the growing flower inside the person. Just imagining how the flowers, the stems piercing through someone’s vitals scared Seungwoo. If him or one of his friends caught such thing, he’d probably throw them to the nearest hospital and get it removed immediately.

But not to the present Han Seungwoo. To the present Han Seungwoo, getting the flower out of his system is something he would like to think about first.

No, he doesn’t want to think about it. Never had it crossed his mind to get his feelings removed for the other. He wanted the flowers out, but he also wished for the love to remain.

_I must be the unluckiest man on earth._ He laughed to himself as he watched the yellow petals get flushed out of the toilet bowl.

The irony. Years ago, he was laughing at Seungyoun for even bringing up the Hanahaki Disease. Seungyoun told him that while searching for some Japanese folklore for his assignment, he stumbled upon such ridiculous thing.

_“Hey, hyung. What would you do if you get infected by that disease?” Seungyoun was on Seungwoo’s bed, belly down as he scrolls through his phone. Seungwoo, oh the other hand, was on his desk, doing his assignment. Upon hearing the question, Seungwoo couldn’t help but to release the laugh he has been holding. The kid was talking about a made up sickness for an hour now, and he couldn’t believe he’s that into it._

_Seungwoo stopped laughing when he heard Seungyoun huffed and whined. “I’ll get it out fast. I don’t want to die because of a one-sided feeling.” He saw how Seungyoun nodded from his peripheral vision, but he knows how the younger thinks. He was the type of person who would think about the other’s feelings first before his anyway._

_“Feelings can be learned, right? People wouldn’t say ‘I learned to love him’ if it was impossible.” There you go, the typical Cho Seungyoun. “But you’re just forcing the other to love you back by guilt tripping them, if that’s the case.”_

_Seungyoun stayed quiet after._

The flowers didn’t start blooming when he found out he had feelings for his bestfriend. Not even when Seungyoun barged in his room, clad in his black hoodie, looking like he ran a mile just to tell him that he saw the most beautiful person on earth. Seungwoo clearly remembers how he gave his bestfriend a slight push so he’d be able to talk to his neighbor, Kim Wooseok. Remembers the smile he made every time he had the chance to talk to the petite man, only to realize that Wooseok is taken. He will never forget the broken look on Seungyoun’s face. How he had to force a smile every time they meet, and how he refused to visit Seungwoo’s house for months, scared of seeing the man.

_“Hey, hyung? You’ve been in there for ten minutes, are you okay?”_ He almost forgot that he’s with Seungyoun and their friends. They went for a staycation just to relieve some stress from work and to catch up. It’s been a while for some of them, especially with him and Seungyoun. The younger was too preoccupied by his current love life that he barely had the time to hang out with Seungwoo. Not that he’s complaining.

_“Upset stomach. I’ll catch up with you guys later!”_ Seungwoo shouted from the other side of the door as he tried to swallow back the petals. He heard Seungyoun laughed behind the door, told him he’ll inform the others and they’ll be back as soon as they can. That he’ll be bringing him medicines and some drink to keep himself from being dehydrated. Seungwoo hummed and bid them goodbye.

Seungyoun’s current. It was clear as day. The moment he started telling him about Lee Hangyul, he felt the itch in his throat but he fought it off by a glass of water. Never had he thought that _that_ certain itch will cost him his life. He was too used to Seungyoun telling him all about his past crushes that he thought of it as something normal. The younger falls for someone faster than he could say hi anyway.

Seungwoo let a sigh escape his lips after hearing Seungyoun’s footsteps disappear. He didn’t want his bestfriend to know about his illness. His bestfriend was already keeping tabs on him. The younger saying that he lost so much weight in just a month, Seungwoo played it off by saying he’s just stressed at work, and that he needed this staycation to unwind.

Looking at himself on the mirror, he did lose not just a bit but a lot of weight. He was pale but now he looked sickly pale and the bags under his eyes are horrible. He’s been vomiting petals for a month. Even the slightest smell of flowers made his stomach churn, unlike before where he lights up candles every night of different scent. He looked like hell. It’s no wonder Seungyoun had been especially worried about him and his every move to the point where he won’t even let him lift a finger. It was funny for others but for him, it was everything.

It made him question, what’s with Hangyul that triggered that disease? Was it because of how Seungyoun told him stories about the guy? No. Seungyoun and his love sick puppy face was still the same. Was it on how he turns into a giggly fit whenever he exchanges messages with the guy? Nah, he saw that before too when Seungyoun started having a crush on Wang Yibo. Or was it because of what Seungyoun said?

_“Hyung, I think I’m gonna go and ask Gyul if I can court him!”_

_“Hyung! Seungwoo hyung! He accepted me! We’re not in a relationship but we’re going there! I just know it.”_

Out of all his past endeavors, it was only with Lee Hangyul who accepted his offer. It was only him who didn’t break his heart, and it was only him who looks at Seungyoun the same way as Seungyoun looks at him. Lee Hangyul was the only person who made him wish that it was him. That he was on the receiving end of Seungyoun’s affections, wished that he was the reason for his giggles and smiles, and the reason for his cute hiccups whenever he gets flustered or nervous.

Seungwoo, after eight long years of friendship and six years of pining, wished he was Lee Hangyul.

_“Fuck! What happened?”_

_“Seungyoun, calm down.”_

_“Why didn’t he tell me? How long has it been?”_

_“We didn’t know either.”_

_“Does his parents know? Why did he hide it from me? I thought he trusted me.”_

Seungwoo woke up to his bestfriend shouting and crying. He didn’t know how he went from the bathroom to a comfy bed but he knows something happened and it involves him. Opening his eyes, he was welcomed by the sight of Eunsang, eyes obviously puffed out from crying. The red head was surprised to see him awake that he ended up falling on the floor.

_“H – he’s awake!”_

It didn’t take a minute for everyone to gather around the bed, face painted with sadness, pity, and disappointment. Something he never wanted to see. Seungwoo sat up on the bed, eyes trying to avoid his friends’ when he saw Seungyoun holding a familiar object on his hand.

_A yellow petal. Shit._

_“C – can you guys leave us for a second?”_ It was Seungyoun who broke the silence and the others just gave him a nod, pat Seungwoo on the arm and left them in the room. It was just him and Seungyoun now. His bestfriend who had been with him from thick and thin. The same bestfriend he vowed into protecting, the bestfriend he’d never want to cry. He even jokingly told Seungyoun before that he’d beat up anyone who would hurt him. _Oh, the irony._

The sick feeling in his stomach came back, and Seungyoun must’ve noticed it because before he could even run to the bathroom, the younger was already holding a bucket on his face. Seungwoo started vomiting yellow petals tainted with blood red as Seungyoun rubs his back for relief. He wanted to cry right there and then. He wanted to ask why him, he only developed feelings. He hid it for years, so why?

_“I thought you’d get the operation once you acquired that stupid disease.”_ Seungwoo froze when he heard the younger’s voice. It was hoarse and full of pain. Like he cried for hours. _“Was he that important to you? You’re willing to risk your life just because of what? Love?”_

_“He is.”_ He felt the hand on his back flinched when he answered without hesitation, followed by a broken laugh. It was too painful to hear that he opted on pushing the bucket away from his face before dragging himself towards the bathroom.

_“Never thought of you as someone who would sacrifice his life for a one-sided love.”_

_“You know nothing, Youn.”_

_“Yeah, I know nothing. I didn’t even know you’re dying. Funny. So much for being your bestfriend.”_ The sarcasm on Seungyoun’s voice, the way he forced another chuckle after, made Seungwoo’s blood boil. He knows he’s on the wrong side, he knows that hiding it from everyone will only kill him but everything he did has a reason. He did it for him. He wanted him to be happy without thinking of his bestfriend and his dumb feelings.

_“So you chose to die, Seungwoo? Really? You chose to die over those damn feelings?”_

_“You don’t understand, Seungyoun!”_

Seungwoo didn’t know when they started raising their voice, he didn’t care if the people outside would hear or when Seungyoun magically popped in front of him but what he knows is that he’s frustrated. He’s frustrated, angry and sad at his bestfriend. He wanted him to try to at least comfort him but ever since he found out, Seungyoun only threw him sarcastic remarks.

_“Then make me understand, Han Seungwoo.”_

_“I can’t just force you to love me back.”_ It was true. Love can’t be forced, but to his bestfriend of eight years, everything can be learned. He’s tired of making the other understand that things don’t always work that way. Ever since he started coughing out those yellow petals, never did it crossed his mind to get it removed. He knew from the start that the operation itself was easy, but it also means that the feelings he long kept from his bestfriend would disappear along with the daffodil.

And to Han Seungwoo, the feelings he had for his bestfriend is the most precious thing in the world.

Seungwoo reached for Seungyoun’s cheek, gently wiping the tears that has been flowing from his eyes. _“I’ve loved you for so long, Seungyoun. I know you’d push yourself to try and love me back, but I don’t want that. You’re already happy.”_ This time, Seungwoo knows he’s already crying himself. He never imagined everything would come up to this. That his very first love confession would end up to both of them crying.

_“But hyung.”_ Seungwoo smiled when he heard him call him hyung again. The entire argument, he never once called him hyung. He hated how he calls him hyung before but now it felt like a breath of fresh air.

_“Seungwoo hyung, I’m killing you.”_

_“No, Youn. It’s not you who’s killing me, it’s just me. I’ve been harboring this feelings for six years. I don’t even know why I’m still alive.”_ Seungwoo chuckled before giving the younger a pat on the cheek. _“All I know is that you’re the easiest to love person I’ve ever met, and I’m glad that it’s you.”_

_“Hey, hyung. You’re the dumbest person I’ve met. You told me that you liked me for six long years, you told me that it was only when Hangyul came that you started coughing out those petals.”_ Seungyoun held onto the hem of Seungwoo’s hoodie, gripping it tightly. _“I’ve liked you for that long too, hyung. It was only when Hangyul came that I started moving on from you.”_

It has been a year since Seungwoo left. His parents begged him to undergo surgery, but he stood by his decision ‘til the end. Seungyoun blamed himself for what happened to his bestfriend, but Seungwoo’s parents told him otherwise. They told him how Seungwoo adored the younger so much, how they saw the spark in Seungwoo’s eyes whenever he visits and how the tips of his ears turns red whenever they tease their son to Seungyoun. The love they shared for each other was obvious to everyone except them and them alone.

_“I used your hoodie again, sorry. I’ve always liked this one. I remember asking for this from you but you said it’s your favorite. You won’t mind, right?”_ He chuckled while placing the bouquet of yellow daffodils on his tomb. The yellow petals that killed his bestfriend, he should hate it but Seungwoo said yellow daffodils meant new beginnings and Seungyoun held onto that.

_“About Hangyul, I’m supposed to be the one courting him but”_ Seungyoun paused, sighed then laughed. _“I asked him if he could wait for a few months. He said he can and we’re actually doing great. All we need is a label. He’s a nice guy! I really hope he’s okay with you. Speaking of, I’m gonna meet him soon. I’ll be back, okay? I miss you.”_

_And I’m sorry._

Seungyoun huffed as he pushed himself up to stand, a lone white petal falling off from his pocket.

**Author's Note:**

> The ending.  
> Stay curious. ig. :0  
> jk.  
> love you.  
> I just want a hanahaki thing in this ryeonseung angst fest!


End file.
